Eye of the Hurricane

April 11, 2010

ESPN Texting-Rant

Filed under: Uncategorized — Austen Gregerson @ 4:03 pm

In my best effort to stay on top of the latest sports developments, I signed up fro the free service from ESPN that sends text message alerts for any sport/team/athlete of your choosing. Before I start to gripe, I want to be clear in saying that I love the majority of what the service provides. The information is almost always up to the second, you can customize when you want to get texts, and as long as you have an unlimited texting plan, it’s totally free. Being an informed fan is better than being an ignorant one. And overall, I am a more educated sports fan because of the service.

Now, for my bitching. I understand that someone who wants to be constantly updated with sports scores or headlines is kind of asking for information overload, but ESPN really needs some sort of text-alerts editor to keep some of the drivel off my phone. Just because I want to know the Angels score doesn’t also mean I also want to know when a random pitcher has a no hitter through 6 innings. That sort of thing can wait until he gets to the 8th, or, as a thought, when a no-hitter/perfect game has actually been thrown. Give me the heads up then.

Part of the way ESPN makes up for having a free service is with small ads at the end of the message, and also letting you know when sport-specific programming on ESPN is coming up. So even though I only ask for Miami Hurricanes football updates, the people in Bristol also let me know that Wyoming and Fresno State game was coming on in ten minutes. In other words: I. Don’t. Care.

But programming updates and ads at the end of texts are a small price to pay for constant information anywhere, anytime you want.

However, the most egregious abuse of my text-trust ESPN committed was during the NFL combines. I’m not quite sure why they pimped it so hard with the NFL Network having the only rights to show the actual workouts, but alas they did. And from that week in Indianapolis, I received the single least-important piece of information in regards to sports: Tim Tebow has a 38.5 inch vertical jump.

Someone in Bristol thought that I had to know how high a quarterback could jump. Even with unlimited texts, I felt ESPN had stolen from me. It obviously had more to do with the fact that people are Tebow-crazy than the American infatuation with white-hops, but the principle remains the same. I.Don’t.Care.

The reaction to Tiger Woods when he tee’d off at Augusta? Don’t care. Urban Meyer threw a temper-tantrum at a reporter? Snooze-fest. If I want gossip about trade rumors, I’ll get that on my own time at my computer. But leave my cellphone for more important things, like Shaq’s Tweets. They’re Hi-Larious!


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